25 September 2006

life is short

Ok, this theme has been an ongoing issue for me and a lot of others I care for. Life is short. Too short to try to make everyone love us. We try so hard to surround ourselves with caring people. But the people who you care for the most can also hurt you the most. Sometimes I think if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. So I should probably shut up. now.

But I have been quiet for too long.

Life is just too hard in the first place to try to get someone to love you for who you are and not forsake you for the circumstances that have happened in your life. Paul had cancer. Past tense. had. Recently, we had a cancer scare. Because of our fear, we called our closest companions. By the grace of God, Paul does not have cancer. The very following moment after we found out the great news we called everyone again. To rejoice in the news. Why does it seem that when people go through trial it drives others away. Like they are afraid of our bad luck. Not everyone, really. It is those those few that turn their backs and run away like we are the plague. It makes me so thankful for those who stick by us through thick and thin.

Paul still hasn't been feeling well. He has been passing the largest kidney stones that I have seen. But it will pass. (literally, not to make a horrible punO) It is the past that makes me avoid sharing things for the sake of others doubts. Life is too short worrying about what others think, or why they don't "like" us. This is the way it is, but I am not going to try to prove my life. These things happen. Believe it or not. Doubt no more. You can doubt, but don't blame your doubt on us, why would I make this stuff up? I am not that ambitious.

My back still sucks. Eight back surgeries down. How many more to go? Who knows. I know that having nerve blocks every three months isn't handling it. I know that it is getting worse. My right leg used to be the worse one. Now the left leg (from the sciatic nerve damage) doesn't like to work. I am thankful I can walk. But, somedays, it is difficult. I am so thankful to have Caden and a loving husband.

Next week Paul starts his new VP position in Chicago. This is going to be a major life change for a while. But the opportunity is too great to give up. Maybe the economy will heal in western Michigan while Paul is gaining new skills and he can find something here after a year or three. He gets to telecommute for one week a month. For that I am thankful.

Ok, on another, less grouchy note...

The leaves are turning. We had quite a breezy day today, so the leaves were floating through the air. We winterized the pool this weekend, that always will be our signal that the seasons are turning.

Caden is doing so well in school. Sorry, Meghan, I cannot find his picture from the first day, but I assure you he is getting tall. He likes to make hair look like a faux-hawk. He does it all by himself, he is so pround of it. There is no toy in the house that has not been taken apart. He loves to take things apart. He also likes to keep everything, much to my dismay. I like neat, tidy, uncluttered space. He knows when I throw a broken toy away, no matter how sneaky i am about it! stay tuned for some Caden art, I scanned it in the computer, now I need to get it out of HP software abyss.

I will leave you with a picture of the quilt I am working on...this is the design..

It is from Denyse Schmidt's book, I have gathered natural linen for the white areas, and graphic black, white, and red fabrics for the red part. I think I am going to make a patchwork of the fabrics with various printed twill ribbons mixed in. That will be in place of the red areas in the quilt. I am sure this will take me about a year! I have too many other hobbies to keep up with!

If you made it this far, I assure you that my rants are few and far between, but sometimes I just have to vent! Besides, it isn't you who I am venting about!


Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

michelle I'm only signing in as anonymous because I don't have a google blogger acount. i hope you received my first e-mail and are not ignoring me because I really would like to talk to u and Paul

Aunt cheryl

Anonymous said...

you can email him at prealini@miprotech.com. I don't think we have a good email for you.

michelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
michelle said...

I just didn't want your personal home phone number on the internet, I am not ignoring you, in fact, I am doing all I can do to try to keep communication up when we are separated by miles.

This is a public site and many people visit it, I was trying to protect you.

We have had the same phone number for four years. Also, please always feel free to email me from my blog, where it says "email me" it is a link directly to my email.